Recommended post: Honey Where’s my …. by Sank

This blog is not dead. Far from it, I think about it all the time and when I think about it, I keep it alive in my mind.

Say, does this happen in your house?

I’m calmly sitting down in front of the TV, laptop on my lap, smartphone on the arm of chair, because today, one screen just isn’t enough. I am minding my own business and in comes the Warden. Mrs S.

It’s a shakedown.

“The girl needs $90 for school tomorrow, do you have $90?”

I rarely have $5 on hand at any given time much less a grand sum like $90.

She stared at me, studying. I avoided eye contact… “You do.. lets have it.”

DAMN IT.

And tell me again how guys pull off affairs?

I protested… with a very brave and very assertive “but..”

“It’s for her prom ticket.”

“WHAT? $90 AMERICAN for a prom? Why back in my day…”

No cares about my life experiences around here. I was cut off.

“I’ll pay you back”.  “Before Puerto Rico?” Slipped out.

I stared at her, she started back.. Honestly I was really hopeful that I would escape the high school kids experience without having a one participate in prom. I got two kids through without it, and she’s a senior. I was sooooo danged close.

“weeeeeell”

I got up. Walked to our built in wine rack, pulled a bottle out of the top left cubby hole, reached in and pulled out a $50. Handed it to her. I walked to my office, she was close behind, watching my every move. I opened up my cigar box, the one with my clandestine cigars and Winston’s. I don’t think she knows about those. “I know about those”, get outta my head woman “just get the money we’ll talk about your bad habits later.” The bottom of the box is false thanks to a cedar plank. Under it, a $20, gave it to her. Next stop my pen cup, dumped it out, pens, pencil leads, ghost turds and three $5’ and a $10. Gave her $20 more. “There you go.”

Her eyes narrowed a bit, “I have to start cleaning better”.

Followed with “For a guy who asks me five times a day where his assorted crap is you seem to no trouble finding you cash stash.”

I do what I have to do.

Filed under: Life